I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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