I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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