Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
