I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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