Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
