I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
