oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize