Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize