Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
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Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
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Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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