i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
