Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
