Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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