why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize