you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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