i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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