Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
