It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
