We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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