im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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