Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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