wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
