Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Randomize
