Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
