My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize