Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Randomize
