would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
