im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
