Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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