just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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