She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
