Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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