Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize