Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
