I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize