just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
