I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
