I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I need to align my fucking chakras
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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