I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...