Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
