Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The uberlube is also flammable
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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