Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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