so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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