i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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