We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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