new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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