What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
