That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
