So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
