There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
