dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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