Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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