i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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