I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
