Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Nicole vs. Life
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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