I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Randomize
