It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize