what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
We got so high we made milksteak
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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