How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
