he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
