WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
