You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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