I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
My ass is underappreciated
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
