Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
