Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize