she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
