I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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