There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize