It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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