He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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