i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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