he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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